Life's difficult. Life's hard, but that's life. It was never meant to be easy. Everyday things happen - some good, some bad, people come and people go. You get to choose who and what stays in your life and who and what leaves.
Maybe it's time for me to think about my life. What and who I want. What and who I want to stay and who I want to leave. I need to start controlling my life, I need to stop letting thing just happen. I am the only one in control of my life and right now there's no driver at the wheel. My autopilot is broken and I'm plummeting towards the ground at 100 miles an hour.
I need to understand by brain, but that's hard. something is wrong, I can feel it and I don't feel like me. I'm over the name that I have given myself, and I'm the only one that can change it. It will be an effort but I have to. I can't live like this anymore. It's too much.
Friday night has alot to do with these feelings. It's as if I've been standing on a cliff and these events have finally pushed me over the edge. My mind and body have had enough, they are given up. My mind and body is saying 'I can't do this anymore" and this is putting me through some physical and emotional pain. I have been so emotional lately always wanting to cry.
I took 3 test on the beyond blue website tonight and all 3 came up with the same response.
Sphere questionnaire: "If you scored 3 or more of the above symptoms, you probably have a depressive illness." I scored 13.
Kessler Psychological Distress Scale: 1-15 = Low or no risk, 16-29 = Medium risk, 30-50 = High risk.
I scored 32.
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual: If you scored 5 or more you may have depression.
I scored a 6.
I think it's time I go and see a professional about all this to be honest I have felt myself going down hill for months. I believe that I can get over this hurdle and start living my life how I want to live it. I think it's time to face my fear - go and see if I have depression............................
No comments:
Post a Comment